Prior to my freshman year at St. Mary’s College of Maryland I knew next to nothing about role playing games and had never heard of LARPing. I remember seeing members the SMCM “Gamer’s Club” walking around campus, always in large, loud groups, but I don’t remember who initially explained to me that they were members of an official club centered around role playing games. I also don’t remember when I first noticed that John, who I met during freshman orientation, was often with the gamers. I do remember eating dinner in the great room (campus cafeteria) and having to repeat everything I said three times before my table mates could hear me over the roar of the gamer club table. I remember my friends complaining about the “gamer nerds”; I whole-heartedly agreed with them, making an exception to point out this guy John who I thought was pretty cool.
John and Alece, 2003
It was only a few weeks into my first semester of school before I came to solidly dislike the gamer club. My feelings had nothing to do with the members as individuals, nor did it have to do with their “nerdy” pastimes or interests- it stemmed entirely from the fact that they were always in a huge group, clogging up pathways, and being extremely loud and obnoxious, seemingly oblivious to their fellow students. I avoided contact with the gamer club for the exact same reasons I avoided the baseball team and the rugby team. Unlike my schema of sports teams allowed, I wondered why the gamer club always ate dinner together en masse, and why they were always yelling and carrying on so theatrically. I considered that they were over compensating- maybe they figured that other people were going to think they were weirdos regardless, so why not really give those fucktards a show? Or maybe it was a simple safety-in-numbers situation- people would be less likely to give them shit if there were 12 of them instead of 3. Or maybe they couldn’t control themselves and had no idea that their socially lame behavior was annoying and awkward to everyone else. Or maybe they were aware of this but just didn’t give a crap.
John, 2002
Anyway, when I started dating John I experienced conflicted feelings about his self-professed role as “The Gamer Club’s Jesus”. A part of me, the immature, wanting-to-fit in 18 year old part of me, wished her boyfriend wasn’t friends with such outwardly nerdy people, and didn’t spend his time painting little plastic orcs, dressing up in chain mail, and playing with foam swords. I didn’t get it- John was articulate, always outgoing and socially appropriate, and had a really nice shoulder-to-waist ratio… what was he doing with these somewhat creepy, goofy people? These superficial feelings definitely existed, but I was willing to ignore them and even lackadaisically endeavor to overcome them, well aware that they were my issues, my shortcoming- not John’s. The real problem was that I did not comprehend the appeal of role playing pursuits. Video games and standard board games I could see, but D&D, WarHammer, and LARPing baffled me. John and I had a few heated discussions about the merits of his hobbies, my primary argument being disbelief that someone his age could find these activities entertaining and meaningful. To me it wasn’t so much that they were nerdy, but that they seemed extremely childish and silly. John being John was always able to out-argue me, probing whether the opinions I espoused were self-generated or just parroted versions of mainstream society’s eagerness to condemn anything different, grilling me about the legitimacy of creating a story for a novel vs. creating a story for a D&D game, etc. I never had satisfactory answers, but I knew, I just knew that there was something inherently lame about D&D and LARPing.
To be 100% honest, I still don’t understand the appeal of role playing games and LARPing. I can verbalize the reasons John likes LARPing- the creative outlet, the physical activity, the opportunity to spend time with friends. These are all things about John that I really like, but for whatever reason I still don’t understand his drive to dress up in a costume and role play a cleric in a public park. The difference is that these days I totally don’t give a shit that I don’t get it. When John and I started dating he used to always say, “it’s okay to be goofy”. This is a really out-there concept for an 18 year old, and I was (and am) so impressed with John’s ability to maintain this mindset- I was definitely not there in college!
John as "Baron Andor" in the middle, holding the "spear", 2010
Now-a-days when sharing stories about the weekend with my co-workers, I never hesitate to tell them that on Sunday I watched John LARP at Volunteer Park. There wasn’t a “turning point”, no moment of revelation- I guess maybe I just got used to all the nerdy stuff. I would like to point out that even back when I got embarrassed about John’s gaming and LARPing, I never once asked him not to play D&D, or swing a foam sword. Not asking your boyfriend to quit his hobbies isn’t something that deserves a pat on the back, but sometimes I would like just a little credit for being a non-gamer who dated and married a gamer. My brother once told my mom that “John was really lucky- usually if a girl finds out you do that kind of stuff you don’t have a chance”. While I know this isn’t true (most of the gamer guys I know have non-gamer girlfriends or wives), I like thinking of myself at 18 as at least somewhat open minded. Even if I didn’t share John’s ability to say “fuck it” to all the people who thought that he and his friends were weirdos, I admired this quality in John and knew that he was the better of us for possessing it.
John and Alece, 2010
However, while the most I could muster at the age of 18 was a begrudging admiration of my boyfriend’s individuality, while continuing to maintain a personal distaste for and attempt to publicly distance myself from all-things gamer related, at present I have a much healthier and mature outlook regarding John’s nerdiness. I still don’t get role playing, but I also don’t get knitting, scrapbooking, karaoke, running marathons, shoe shopping, scuba diving, the career of dentistry, posting to twitter, etc. So fuck it, whatever. Life is short and I’m sooo glad that John is able to spend time doing the things that he enjoys.
. 4/5 stars. 
